Introductions (Preparation Guide Part Two)

Mental Prep For Conversation

You’re attending these events / activities because you want to meet new friends. Conversation is an important part of connecting with people. It’s also a skill that many people struggle with. They fear saying the wrong thing and looking stupid. This isn’t going to happen to you, because you’re going to be armed with some simple conversation starters. Practise saying them in your head, or out loud, so they become more automatic for you. Then, when you meet people at the event / activity, they’ll flow naturally from your lips.

Breaking The Ice

Here’s my typical go-to conversation starters. Don’t forget to make eye contact and clearly direct the question…

1. “Are you also going to the… (dance) / (lawn bowls MeetUp) / (board games night) / (book club thingy)?
You can say this if other people appear to be walking into the same event as you…
2. “Is this your first time too?” (you can say this upon arrival, once at the event)
3. “Hey. This is my first time. Do you know who the host / organiser is?” or “Have you met the host / organiser?”
4. “Hey. I actually have no idea where I’m supposed to go… have you done this before?“
5. “Hey. I’ve just arrived / this is my first time, and I’m not really sure what to do. Are you a regular?“

As you can read, these ice-breakers aren’t anything special. They’re just normal everyday questions that I’m thinking, but said out loud. These are authentic questions. They are genuine and not gimmicky. It’s not rocket science. Just be yourself when talking to people.

You’ll also note that these questions are generally closed-questions. They just invite a “yes” or “no” , or one word answer. This is OK for a conversation starter. Once the person responds, then the door is open to more interesting conversation.

After or during the activity

To resume a conversation with someone you spoke to earlier, you can say things like:
1. “How’s it going so far?“
2. “How did you go?“
3. “What did you think of … ?“

Again, these are simple questions. Let your natural curiosity guide your questions.

You may also note that these questions are open-ended questions. They are HOW and WHAT questions, which invite the person you’re talking to give an extended response.

Be prepared to begin a conversation with someone, and keep it short / brief… then return to them later to follow up / continue the conversation. This is more natural and feels easier than trying to connect with someone straight off the bat (right away).

Introducing your name

For me, it feels more natural to exchange names after the conversation has flowed. At some point you might say, “I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Sarah.” and pause allowing the other person to share their name.
I’m also terrible with remembering names so I consciously make an effort now to say someone’s name a few times in the conversation that follows. This helps it stick. Or, I think of someone else I know with that name so I can associate them, which helps with recall.

PPPPP (The Five “P”s)

Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.
Check over this guide leading up to your events / activities, as it’s designed to help you succeed at starting conversations with people. Let me know if it’s been useful by sharing your experience in the VIP Facebook Group (click here) or at the VIP Power Hour session (access via Dashboard) next time we meet.